Brief Candle
by arian
Summary: Sephiroth reflects on his motives for killing Aeris and contemplates refusing to do Jenova's bidding


# Brief Candle

By Arian

"I am in blood stepp'd so far that should I wade no more, returning is as tedious as go o'er" 

From "Macbeth" written by William Shakespeare

The silver haired figure hung in the air, high above the raised platform. He wanted to leave. He didn't want to do this, even if it was Jenova's bidding.

"Mother… please… Not this one. Not her." He pleaded with the entity.

Jenova's voice echoed back to him, the words tracing themselves in fire across his mind. _She could ruin it all. It has to be her._

Sephiroth looked down at the delicate figure below. Her head was bowed, allowing her dark hair to spill forwards into her face. She was praying.

"The optimism of it…" He muttered, shaking his head. "Doesn't she know that it's useless? We're unstoppable now."

_We're not. Not even beings such as ourselves are infallible. That's why she has to die. She alone has the ability to bring this to ruin._

"She's just a flower girl! She doesn't deserve…"

_She is an Ancient. You _know_ that. Deserve doesn't enter into it. She is in the way._

"Even if it brings everything to ruins, even if our dreams crumble into dust… I cannot do this. Not to her. To any of the others that she travels with, yes. I could drive the blade through any of _them_ without flinching. But not her…" Sephiroth whispered in despair.

Beginning to sense that Sephiroth's lack of enthusiasm for this task was a danger to its completion, Jenova's will made a sudden grab for his mind, trying to possess and overcome him. The ex-SOLDIER general shut his eerie Mako-green eyes tight, both hands gripping the Masamune blade until the knuckles turned white. He fought at with the alien entity in a bid to maintain control. "You cannot… force me… You cannot… compel me. I will reach… my own… understanding on this matter." He hissed out between clenched teeth.

At length, Jenova stopped trying to possess him. _You've killed before. You've burned a village to the ground before. What difference does one more life make? I do not understand your reluctance. She is nothing._

"She is everything, Mother. She is innocent and pure and good." Sephiroth looked down at the figure below and saw the absolute beauty that filled her soul. She had a radiance with a depth he could not define. There was something saintly and wondrous about that angel's face. Sheer goodness shone in her face and her brilliant eyes. He wondered if that idiot boy that followed her could even see what she was. Could Cloud even begin to comprehend what the girl was capable of? Could he see the light that glowed inside her?

"If I kill her… I go beyond reprieve. There will be nothing that can turn me back and nothing that can save me, because nothing can damn my soul more than this." He tried to explain it, but how do you explain such a thing to a creature like Jenova?

_You believe our cause is wrong?_ The voice cut into his mind as painful as red-hot knives, but then, it was always this painful. Jenova's voice was more excruciating than anything he'd encountered before, but he bore it without trace of complaint.

"No! The Promised Land belongs to us! But… to kill one such as her… to drive the blade through… It is simply beyond me. I _cannot_ do it. I have no taste for this assassination, this cold-blooded murder."

_And yet you have murdered in cold blood before. I do not understand the difference. The Ancient is a danger. She must not be allowed to complete her prayer to Holy and the Planet._ Jenova sounded as flat and monotonous as ever. No emotion was ever revealed in her tone, not even anger.

Sephiroth's face was filled with complete and utter compassion as he watched the flower girl's head lift in response to the arrival of her friends. "Aeris, I'm more sorry than you will ever realise." He threw his head back, surrendering his will to Jenova, letting the entity take control and do what must be done. 

"And so I cross the last bridge, my soul sunk far beyond all hope of reprieve. There is no way back now." He whispered as the force that had kept him floating in the air was released and he plummeted down to the raised dais below.

Author's note: An interesting point of view, but I personally think that Sephiroth knew exactly what he was doing and was too ruthless to have this perspective on things. How else to explain that evil little smile when he looks up at Cloud after Aeris' death? 

The quote at the beginning means that he is so far into a series of murders that going back is as much a problem as continuing on his present course. Sort of. That's your English literature lesson for today!


End file.
